


Unrequited (It's Because I Love)

by MysticalSnow



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 95liners are just trying to help, 96liners are a mess except for Jun, 97liners are supportive friends, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Emotional Hurt, Everyone is in college except for 95line, Fluff and Angst, Jihancheol are established, M/M, Maknae Line only want their hyungs to be happy :(, Multi, Past JiCheol, comfort will come later tho, everyone is sad, maybe some more angst, smut later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-15 05:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticalSnow/pseuds/MysticalSnow
Summary: "I'm sorry.""Why?”"...""It's okay.""I can't love you.""I know.""I'm sorry.""Me too."----------------------------It’s a mess. Completely and utterly beautiful. Some messes aren't meant to be cleaned.





	1. Wonwoo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So, this is my first fic ever, so please be gentle with me. I've had this idea for awhile now, so I decided to just try and write something. A big Thank You to  Winter Waters  for helping me get started and giving me feedback. I hope you guys enjoy ♥︎

Wonwoo sat on the sofa, flipping lazily through the pages of his book. The afternoon sun filtered into the apartment, and coated the living room with an orange haze that brought a tranquil calm. Wonwoo enjoyed the peace, quietly humming an old tune as he basked in the warmth of the apartment. Today was a good day, he thought. A rare off day with no classes or work to bother his long overdue serenity. It was moments like these when Wonwoo thought he was the most content. No homework to worry about, no cramming for exams, no jobs to rush to. It felt nice. The only thing missing was a cat to curl next to him as he read, and then it would really be perfect. If only moments like these could last. But alas, time moves forward, and Wonwoo can only do his best to keep up.

He was brought out of his thoughts when the front door abruptly swung open, revealing a distressed looking Kwon Soonyoung.

 

“ARGHHH!” Soonyoung half-yelled in frustration.

 

“Welcome home.”

 

Soonyoung ignores him as he throws his stuff on the nearby table and joins Wonwoo on the sofa, slumping down. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, leaving them to sit in silence. Wonwoo lifts his head from the book to look at the other. He takes in Soonyoung’s sharp jawline as he rests his head back, and doesn’t miss how his pretty lips are slightly turned downwards as a frown settles onto his face. His gaze flits down to notice how Soonyoung’s collarbones slightly jut out from under his white t-shirt, eyes lingering for a second too long. Wonwoo wonders how someone could have such soft but defined features. _Beautiful_ , he can’t help but think.

 

Wonwoo clears his throat, “What’s wrong with you today?” He asks nonchalantly, going back to his book.

 

Soonyoung sighs loudly before answering, “I fucking hate the new dance instructor.”

 

Soonyoung was a dance major, and had landed a pretty decent paying job at a dance studio his first year in Seoul. He taught dance there regularly and had quickly become a crowd favorite. The owner had instantly taken a liking to him, and even allowed Soonyoung to use the studio whenever he wanted to. Not only was Soonyoung an amazing dancer, but he had an amazing personality too. He was a complete package deal, so it was no surprise when entertainment companies started scouting him to be in idol groups and offered him deals in the past, to which he’d declined them all. _‘I wouldn’t get to see you or the guys anymore, and I don’t want that. I’d miss you guys too much’_ he told Wonwoo when he’d refused them. Wonwoo wasn’t complaining. He’s heard how strenuous and demanding the idol life could be, and didn’t want Soonyoung to go through living life constantly worried about public opinions and his image, he was too sensitive. And to be frank, Wonwoo couldn’t entertain the thought of rarely seeing his best friend either.

 

Wonwoo blinked before replying, “Oh yeah? He the new favorite now or what?”

 

“Hah! Yeah right, like his fake ass could come anywhere near my title. I am, and will always be, owner-hyung’s favorite.” He declared with a small pout that Wonwoo thought was cute, despite the clear frustration he still wore.

 

“You never know dude, the owner might just swoon and find himself a new favorite. What’s this new guy’s name anyways?”

 

“Park Minjae, the fucking asshole. I can’t believe he managed to swindle owner-hyung to let him start teaching other people with that god-awful attitude of his.” Soonyoung spat out in pure distaste.

 

Wonwoo finally finds it in him to put the book he’s reading down, and fully turns to face his friend, “Soon, I really can just sit here and listen to you complain about this guy all day long, but that’d mean giving up my precious reading time, which you should know, I haven’t had much of lately. So, tell me what happened that bothered you enough to come back home this upset.”

 

Soonyoung looked at his best friend before rolling on his side to lay his head in Wonwoo’s lap. The other automatically reached down to card his fingers through the soft, brown hair, a habit he’d formed that helped calm and relax Soonyoung whenever he was stressed or upset.

 

“It was after dance lessons today. I was getting my stuff ready to leave when this kid, who was having a lot of trouble this past week, came up to me.” Soonyoung started, “He wanted some advice about how to be a better dancer and stuff like that. And you know, I was happy to answer his questions, ecstatic even, that someone was asking and genuinely wanted to get better. I told the kid that one of the most important aspects of dance was emotion. The feelings that you are able to convey to an audience also shows them what type of dancer you are. It determines how well you are able to connect with the audience, and how well the audience can connect to your performance. I gave him some tips, told him an easy way to convey emotions in dance, was to relate whatever dance he was working on with something in his life. Then this fucking asshole Park comes up, and starts spewing bullshit about how _‘emotions aren’t impressive when you can’t even do basic moves well’_ and straight up said this kid was a lost cause. The kid looked crushed. He was really trying to get better, but this fucker comes along and basically shoots him down.”

 

Soonyoung looked up towards the ceiling, glaring holes into it, “I tried to cheer him up, but he looked so embarrassed and sad. I’m not even sure he’ll want to come back.”

 

Wonwoo played with Soonyoung’s hair as he listened, seeing how worked up he was about this. He ran his fingers through his bangs, watching them fall gently back down onto Soonyoung’s face and waited for the other to continue.

 

“But you know what? That’s not even what made me so mad. I talked to Park about it afterwards, but he had the audacity to tell **_me_ ** I was giving that kid false hope, and proceeded to educate me on how my methods of dancing were too tiresome and pointless, saying that anyone could fake an emotional performance and nobody would notice, because the moves were what mattered. _‘We’re just actors who dance. You shouldn’t think of it as more than that.’_ How can someone say that and continue to teach other people how to dance? To dance without feeling anything _genuine_?” Soonyoung emphasized his words with his hands, a frown settling deeper into his face.

 

“Truthfully, I don’t even know why I’m so mad about this. People say dumb shit all the time, and I normally never get this upset over little things like this. It’s just… I put my all into dancing, express myself through it. I can’t help _but_ to feel emotions when I dance. To hear someone say that the one thing that’s been with me through the most emotional times of my life, is just acting makes me so… angry? I don’t know anymore.”

 

Soonyoung let out an exasperated sigh, and brought a hand up to rub his eyes, “You know what, this is stupid. Maybe I’m just dumb and blowing this way out of proportion. I should just get over it, I don’t know why I’m throwing such a fit.” He finished with a quiet voice.

 

Wonwoo understood the way he felt, “You’re mad because it’s important to you.” He stated after a moment, “Dancing means a lot to you and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe other people don’t see it the way you do, but you dance because of your emotions. If dancing with real emotions is too _tiresome and pointless_ , then you must be an amazing dancer to be able to put your all into a choreography and still shine as bright as you do. There’s a reason why you’re owner-hyung’s favorite after all.” Wonwoo brought Soonyoung’s hand away from his face and held them gently, tracing the lines of his palm, “If someone came up to me and started talking shit about how books and literature weren’t important, then believe me, I’d be pissed too.”

 

Soonyoung let out a small chuckle, “Sometimes I forget how much you actually love books.” He looked up apologetically at Wonwoo, “Sorry I took up your reading time. I know you haven’t had much time for it lately.”

 

Wonwoo only shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, Soon. You know I’m here to listen to you whenever you need me.” Soonyoung smiled at that.

 

“Besides,” Wonwoo started again, “Listening to you talk isn’t so bad. I like hearing your voice.”

 

Soonyoung’s face flushed red before he turned his head away, “You’re dumb.”

 

Wonwoo laughed then, and leaned into the other’s ear, “Only with you.”

 

Soonyoung squeaked and rolled off the sofa, falling with a thump, which did nothing to ease Wonwoo’s laughter.

 

“Great. Now my ass hurts.” Soonyoung groaned as he sat up to rub his lower back.

 

“I can make it hurt even more if you want?”

 

“Oh, shut up!” Soonyoung whined in embarrassment from his spot on the ground as he threw a pillow at Wonwoo’s face.

 

Wonwoo caught it before it could hit him, and made a quick attack of his own, tackling the other on the floor to tickle him.

 

“AH! Stop it!” The shorter male cried out in a fit of giggles, attempting to shove the bespectacled man off him.

 

After a while, the two laid there, panting as they both caught their breaths.

 

“God, you’re so out of shape.” Soonyoung teased, sitting up and grinning ear to ear.

 

“You’re out of breath too.” Wonwoo defended, still lying on the ground.

 

“Only because you were tickling me!”

 

Wonwoo couldn’t help but to keep teasing the other, “Sorry your day went kind of bad. If it makes you feel any better, mine was great.”

 

“You’re unbelievable.” Soonyoung shook his head, but couldn’t keep the smile off his face, “Well, I’m glad at least one of us had a good day.”

 

They both looked at each other before breaking out into another fit of laughter. Wonwoo stared at Soonyoung, the orange haze between them, and watched as his round cheeks bunched up whenever he laughed, and the way his lips curled so prettily as his voice filled their little apartment. His heart prickled, a feeling close to adoration, but more than that. It was perfect. Wonwoo thought that he would want this moment to last forever, and couldn’t stop the warmth blooming in his chest.

 

“Thank you… for always listening to me even when you’re busy. I know I don’t say it enough, but you really are too good to me. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t deserve to have you in my life.” Soonyoung says softly.

 

“Don’t get sappy on me now.”

 

“Fine, I take it back.”

 

Wonwoo sat up, eyes locking onto Soonyoung’s, “I understand. I understand even if you don’t tell me. You don’t know how much you mean to me too. I say these things even less, but you understand anyways as well, right? So, don’t worry about things like this.”

 

Soonyoung kept his gaze on Wonwoo as he beamed at him, a smile so bright, it hurt Wonwoo to look at. If he had looked closely, he’d notice the twinge of pain tucked away in Soonyoung’s depths.

 

“You’re the bestest friend anyone could ask for.”

 

Wonwoo doesn’t realize when his smile falters.

 

“Anytime.” He replies, an edge in his voice as the bitter warmth in his chest grows cold.

 

The orange haze disappears as the sun begins to set behind the horizon, its soft embrace leaving their little home, and Wonwoo remembers nothing lasts forever. Time moves forward, and he can’t do anything but try his best to keep up.


	2. Jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter might be a little slow, but the next one is where we'll meet the rest of the gang, so prepare for those interactions!

Jihoon sets down his headphones with a groan and rubs a hand over his face. He stares blankly at the screen before him, watching it flicker off in the dimly lit room. Jihoon didn’t know how long he had been in here, but he knew he had to leave before he got angry. He’d been in his studio for god knows how long now, trying to finish his midterm project. The deadline was in a week, but he wasn’t getting anywhere with it, and getting frustrated by the minute was definitely not helping.

Jihoon sighs loudly and grabs his phone to see just how long he had separated himself from the world. The time reads 8:26 am. As if on queue, his phone lit up with a text message.

 

**Cheol**

Hey, you free today?

 

**Ji**

No. I’m in the studio.

 

**Cheol**

You were in the studio 6 hours ago when I texted you at 2 am

It’s morning now

Did you even go home?

 

**Ji**

It’s fine. You know I have a project. 

Don’t worry, I rested a bit.

 

He didn’t. Jihoon gets up to stretch, ignoring the chimes from his phone for a moment. His back hurt like hell, and his eyes threatened to close on him, but he wouldn’t tell Seungcheol that. Jihoon looks around his studio, something he never thought he’d have. Truthfully, Jihoon still couldn’t believe he had a studio he could call his own, in fact just last week he didn’t. He thinks he’s lucky, and he probably is. He’d manage to score big his last year in university, and landed a contract with a producing company.

Dream come true right? Getting employed straight out of university was everyone’s big goal. He was happy, really, but he couldn’t stop the overwhelming sense of tiredness and burden that suffocated him as the year neared its end. He knew this feeling, has felt it before, the passion and motivation being sucked out of him. There was no way he could be burnt out. He has only just started again, he can’t feel burnt out, especially not now. He didn’t know how to feel, and the conflicting emotions only made him more frustrated. Jihoon slumps back down on his chair and massages his temples.

Music wasn’t originally his goal, it wasn’t something he had wanted to pursue seriously before. He came to Seoul as a business major. Jihoon was always good with instruments and enjoyed making music, but he couldn’t have a future in it. “Unrealistic” as his parents put it. But he had gotten a scholarship through his musical prowess, and Jihoon needed that scholarship, it offered to pay a large amount of his tuition if he was a music major. So, he became a music major and told his parents about it, told them that he would still go for business, but keep the music as a means for the scholarship. Everything was fine for awhile, until he realized how much he actually loved making music. It became important to him.

When his parents found out that he dropped business completely, they tried to convince him out of it, even tried to bring him back home. Jihoon understood their concern though. He understood that it was a high risk career with possibly no rewards. There was no guarantee for any payout, and he knew that. It was something he spent hours thinking about back then, wondering if he was making the right choice. But Jihoon was too far in to let music go, wasn’t willing to, and was prepared to face his decisions wherever it lead him. Eventually, they caved in and let him do what he wanted, but he knew that they had always hoped he’d change his mind. He never did, and now he was in his last year of university about to start working as a music producer.

If Jihoon was honest, he was a little proud of himself. He had made it this far, albeit with help that he could never repay. Sure, there were plenty of hardships, even now, but he was getting there. One step at a time, though some steps were heavier than others. He’s had plenty of slumps before, and figures that he’ll get over this one as well. He can’t be burning out again. Jihoon doesn’t want to think about it.

He sighed again and shook his head. He really shouldn’t dwell on his thoughts for too long. He opened his notifications to see what he had missed and who was asking for him, when a certain _Kim Mingyu_ popped up in his messages.

 

**Kim Mingyu**

Where are you?

I made dinner tonight :(

It’s late so I’m guessing you’re not coming back home

You’re probably in your new studio again. I guess sleep well? lol

 

Jihoon grimaced, feeling bad as he imagined Mingyu eating by himself, and made it a mental note to apologize to him later.

 

**Jihoon-hyung**

Sorry, was working all night and didn’t see your texts. 

I’ll be home tonight. And sorry about missing dinner.

 

He was grateful for his friends. If not for them, he wasn’t sure how far he would have made it. Jihoon thinks himself a very fortunate man. He managed to snag a roommate his first year in Seoul as an equally broke and desperate college kid trying to survive in the big city. Kim Mingyu was bigger help to him than he even realized. He was useful to have around, and was actually a great guy. Tall, nice, and handsome. Emphasis on handsome. Jihoon was nervous the first time they had met. He was sure Mingyu would turn out to be an arrogant and snobby fuckboy. What a pleasant surprise when Mingyu ended up proving him completely wrong. He was a little younger than Jihoon, but that never caused any problems unless Jihoon was feeling particularly sensitive. Of course, Mingyu nagged him about cleaning up after himself too, which to his credit, was entirely understandable.

Despite how polar opposite they seemed to be, both in personality and appearance, they got along well and knew when to give each other space. It was something Jihoon was grateful for. Surprisingly, they had also ended up in the same friend group, which only helped their roommate relationship become more friendly and less formal. Their friend group was another thing though. Jihoon almost laughs as he recalls the memory of their last get together, and realizes that he hasn’t seen a big chunk of his friends in awhile.

He shoves his phone in his pocket and grabs his things to _finally_ leave the studio. Jihoon would admit that his studio was a mess right now, but that’s what days of locking yourself up in a small room would look like. He figures it was time for him to get some air and find something to eat. He can’t remember the last time he ate.

As he walked, he took in the cold air and quiet hum of the city. It was too familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. Just when did he start feeling like a stranger in the city he spent the last four years in?

Jihoon remembers, he could never forget. It’s been two years. It’s been long. He noticed how the city grew quieter, how the air felt colder, how the nights seemed longer. Winter was nearing again. Jihoon suddenly became very aware of how unknowingly fast and incredibly slow time moved. Unchanging and unforgiving, yet changing and forgiving all the same. It almost makes Jihoon want to cry. But he doesn’t, and he remembers that all things come and go, and this was no exception. That was how life worked. He was better now, because just like time, he was changing and moving too.

Jihoon reaches his destination and pulls open the door to step inside, a bell signalling his arrival as the smell of coffee beans, pastry, and warmth welcomes him.

“Hello. Welcome to Cafe Home.” Came a deep, but pleasant voice.

 

The man at the counter turns around to meet his customer, the surprise evident in his eyes, “Oh.”

 

“Nice to see you too.”

 

He shook his head, “Sorry. Was just surprised to see you here by yourself.” He went to the cash register, “The usual?”

 

Jihoon nodded and went to sit at one of the empty tables by the window. There weren’t many people here. It was that odd hour of the day when business ran slow. The morning rays were still soft and the day hadn’t fully settled in just yet. Jihoon laid his head back and closed his eyes, tapping his fingers to an unknown melody as the exhaustion from days at work finally swept into his bones.

 

“Tired, huh?”

 

Jihoon opened his eyes at the familiar voice and sat up, finding his coffee placed before him as someone sat in the seat opposite of his.

 

“How have you been?”

 

Jihoon contemplates his answer and hums, “ _Great_.” He pauses, “You ask that like we haven’t seen each other in ages.”

 

“Well, we all haven’t seen you since you got your new studio.” The other states.

 

“No…”

 

“Soonyoung and Seungcheol don’t count.”

 

“You look sleep deprived.”

 

“Thanks. I’m glad you noticed.”

 

“Go home and get some rest. Staying in your studio all the time isn’t healthy. You honestly look like shit.”

 

Jihoon only rolls his eyes and sips his much needed coffee.

 

“Seriously Jihoon, we haven’t seen you in almost a week. Even Mingyu is starting to miss you and he’s your roommate.”

 

“If you haven’t seen me all week, how did you know I was in my studio?”

 

“You act like you don’t know Kwon Soonyoung is my roommate, and never shuts up about you or your new ‘cool as fuck’ studio.” It was Wonwoo’s turn to roll his eyes.

 

“Of course.” Jihoon sighs defeated.

 

Actually, Jihoon never even realized how long he had been in his studio. He can barely notice when days pass by, much less a week in a secluded room. It’s true that he hasn’t seen most of his friends in a while, but he still saw Seungcheol occasionally and Soonyoung almost on the daily. Maybe that’s why he never realized just how isolated he’s kept himself this past week.

Soonyoung had made it a mission to come check on him in the studio often, and make sure he was still alive, even forcing him to eat, much to Jihoon’s protests. And when it wasn’t Soonyoung, it was Seungcheol. It’s like those two had made it a schedule between them, something that wouldn’t surprise Jihoon. But maybe it was for the best when he wasn’t left alone to _think._

 

“Okay, fine. Speaking of Mingyu, I should probably talk to him later.”

 

“Yeah, you should. You know how he is. He may look big and tough, but he’s really just a sensitive little puppy.”

 

Jihoon raises his brow at the other, “Little puppy?”

 

“Have you seen the kid? He’s a walking paradox.”

 

“Ah.” Jihoon muses to himself, “I should have you write lyrics for me.”

 

Wonwoo cracks the slightest smile, “I’m glad _someone_ appreciates my lit major.”

 

Silence falls around them, but Jihoon doesn’t think it’s bad. It was almost comforting knowing that someone very similar to himself was sitting across from him. He appreciated the quiet Wonwoo gave him. It almost felt like he knew. And he probably did. Wonwoo was always good at picking up emotions, even if he wasn’t good with them himself. He brought a welcomed hush into Jihoon’s chaotic mind, a gentle presence. Not too faint, and not too loud, but just enough to reassure Jihoon he wasn’t alone. Though for all their similarities, there was still a side to him that Jihoon didn’t know, and maybe that was for the best. Maybe that’s why Wonwoo and Soonyoung got along so well. He wonders if it was a miracle how he came to know Jeon Wonwoo. How he came to know any of his friends really. Jihoon stops his thoughts, and finds that he’s become more sentimental lately. It must be the weather.

 

“By the way, I know this isn’t something that would come from me, but the guys are planning to get together this weekend.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. There’s something not quite right hearing this from you. I mean, you are probably the other most homebody person I know besides myself.”

 

Wonwoo scoffs, “Touche.”

 

Jihoon mulls it over, “Even if I don’t want to go, Soonyoung or Seungcheol or both of them, would probably drag me there anyways.”

 

“Wonderful. We shall not be deprived of the Great Lee Jihoon any longer. How joyous.”

 

Jihoon cringes at that and makes a face, “I take back what I said about wanting you to write lyrics for me.”

 

Wonwoo laughs and moves to stand up, “As great as it is being blessed by your presence, my duties call for me.” He smooths out his uniform, “Make sure to talk to Mingyu though. That boy really is sensitive, and you missing out on dinner last night made him sad.” Wonwoo shakes his head.

 

“I will, when I get back home later.” Jihoon nods as he finishes his coffee. He goes to stand as well, and orders a small sandwich to go, bidding Wonwoo goodbye before leaving the cafe with a wave. Jihoon checks his phone and sees that he has new messages.

 

**Cheol**

You need to get out of the studio more

It’s not good being in there all the time

Anyways

Let’s go somewhere later

 

**Ji**

Where?

 

**Cheol**

Idk. Anywhere lol

 

Jihoon stops before replying and considers declining. He knew that going would only make it harder on himself, and he couldn’t handle that. Not now. Seungcheol was his _best friend_ , but he could never understand what ran through Jihoon’s mind. He almost settles to not reply when his phone blows up with new messages.

 

**Soonyoung**

Hey

Where are you?

Nvm probably at the studio

I had the worst day yesterday

New instructor is a big fuckin jerk

I hope your day was better at least

Also, Good morning

 

**Jihoonie**

Thanks 

Not at the studio right now. 

New instructor sounds like he sucks. 

Made no progress with my project 

But I guess that’s better than having to deal with people.

 

**Soonyoung**

At least you’re out of the studio now without having someone drag you out

I’m so proud

 

**Jihoonie**

Okay, I’ll go back.

**Soonyoung**

Noooo :(

Let’s go do something today

We haven’t gone out to do anything besides eat lately

 

**Jihoonie**

You make it sound like we do anything else besides eat

 

**Soonyoung**

You know what I meant

 

Jihoon hesitates before answering.

 

**Jihoonie**

Okay

 

**Soonyoung**

Oh. Really?

I didn’t think you’d agree actually

But Great! I’ll come pick you up later

Studio or Apartment?

 

**Jihoonie**

Apartment

 

**Soonyoung**

;)

 

Jihoon felt a little guilty, but pushed it away in place of his sandwich. Soonyoung knew better than anyone. The sudden urge to take his words back crossed Jihoon’s mind. He couldn’t depend on Soonyoung forever. But Soonyoung was nice to be around, even if he was overly eccentric sometimes. It was interesting to think how Soonyoung and Wonwoo were best friends despite being so different. He had such a big and bright presence, loud and obnoxious. Sometimes Jihoon wondered how himself and Soonyoung could get along. Back then, Jihoon had tried his best to avoid the other, refused his help even when he desperately needed it. But Jihoon caved in, and Soonyoung became the person he could rely on when he couldn’t rely on himself, someone he knew would always understand. Beneath his loud and bright surface, Soonyoung had his own hush, his own silence.

Jihoon blinks and clears his head. It _must_ be the weather. He finishes his sandwich in record time, and after a moment’s debate, decides that going back to the studio would only make him want to stay there for another week, something he wanted to try avoiding now that he’s realized how bad he’s been. He also wanted to talk to Mingyu, knowing how upset he probably was now. He really didn’t deserve a roommate like Mingyu. Jihoon pulls his jacket on tighter, and makes his way back home with determined strides. He never did text Seungcheol back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Updates may come slow.


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